Persuasion and the first rule of rapport: Every effective persuader looks for any advantage that they can get their hands on that will work. The broken or bad strategies and tactics of old are known by buyers and they even will tell them to you as they are being rolled out.
Rapport and mirroring are misunderstood elements of NLP that cause many problems from persuaders because they are done wrong. Mirroring men or women is effective when done the right way. Building rapport can be effective but when the other person has issues with you rapport can only go so far.
The first rule of rapport
The first rule of rapport is really two items and that is a mirroring action of the other person and then the use of voice. Similarities in not just a mirroring action but also the voice will help you gain rapport with the person that you are meeting with and in the end may help your persuasive abilities.
On the phone the first rule of rapport does help and that is to talk at about the same volume and or speed as the person that you are on the phone with since that is really the only way that you can mirror them. Just remember that your actions for nonverbal and vocal mirroring should be similar but not exactly the same.
You may be wondering if people will think you are a fraud but the reality is that most people are so caught up in their own world they will not even pay attention.
Rapport gone wrong
Now you may do everything that you can to mirror the man or the woman that you want to persuade but if you do something wrong such as talking too fast or too loud you may have that person walk away.
New salespeople have this issue when they get too excited about the product or service that they sell and this creates a mismatch. Over excitement about selling a product and uneasiness of the buyer will cause a “no” or an “I wanna think about it”.
The same problems with rapport may happen if the hopeful persuader talks too low or too slow compared to the person who that are hoping to influence.
Persuasion, rapport and similarities
Nonverbally you know when a man or woman is in rapport with you through pacing and leading. When you are leading the person will do similar actions that you do like folding your arms or shaking heads in a similar action, when you are pacing they are the one who sets the tone for you. You can do the same with you voice if you slowly start building the speed or slowing how fast you are talking or even with the volume.
You have the most amount of persuasive power as the leader instead of the pacer so it’s important to remember that you should keep “time” on your pacing and leading so that you spend more time in “charge”.
Remember that the persuasion doesn’t always happen instantly and in most instances it takes time and patience.
As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about persuasion and the first rule of rapport.
Now go implement!
Scott Sylvan Bell
Persuasion expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains persuasion and the first rule of rapport: Video credit